Bill O’Reilly has spewed his regular vitriol about “Happy Holidays” versus “Merry Christmas,” seeming to conveniently forget the fact that there are other holidays in December and that the entire world does not celebrate Christmas.

The winner for me was reading about a holiday decor company that has apparently begun marketing the “CHRIST-mas tree,” a bushy fake tree with a giant cross for a trunk. Oh yeah, and Focus on the Family’s annual list of retailers to boycott based on their Christmas-denying tactics and practices.

Oddly, the complaints seem to be not about consummerism, but about lack of professed Christianity from store clerks and businesses.

OK, to their credit, there is a group, The Advent Consipiracy, who have actually taken the approach of advocating spending less on baubles and geegaws and turning that money into charitable giving. Hmmm… now that I can understand!

Seriously, the whole concept of “Jesus is the reason for the season” is a bit irksome. Really? You’re sure about that?

I guess the fact that Jesus’ actual birthday is nearly impossible to pin down with any degree of accuracy, but it most certainly wasn’t smack dab at the onset of winter, doesn’t mean a thing, now does it? Let’s not forget that early celebrations of Christ’s birth were on totally different days, and that the reasons for switching to December 25th were more about allowing the populace to continue having their celebrations by giving a Christian bent to the pagan rites. (blasphemy!)

And what about that Christmas tree?

A variety of pagan practices invove decorating the home with evergreen boughs, that would include some ancient Roman tradition. The most widely accepted basis of the tree is Germanic. However, the use of a Christmas tree was not a weidely accepted Christian practice until fairly recently, and not truly accepted in the US until Victorian times. In the 1880s, the New York Times editorialized against Christmas trees. When teddy Roosevelt became president, he was against cutting down trees for Christmas – c’mon, he was a conservationist, that would go against his nature.

No matter what side of the coin you are on, it’s easy to find “facts” to support your case. I’ve read all about the supposedly Christian origins of the candy cane. And the symbolism of the traditional Christmas colors (red for blood, green for everlasting life, gold for diety, etc).

The fact is, people need to feel connected, they need to feel the weight of tradition – look at Kwanzaa. The problem comes not from those traditions, but from those people who want to force others to follow and honor their traditions.

Thus the quest is born. The quest to homogenize all holiday celebrations into one, Christ-focused event where all things revolve around Jesus, where every tradition, every element of celebration has its true origin lost, transformed into a Christian theme.

As for me, I’ll celebrate my holiday in my way – a strange combination of traditions, indeed! And I will happily encourage you to celebrate in your way.

Happy Holidays!

Seasons Greetings!

Happy Kwanzaa!

Happy Hanukkah!

And may your New Year be bright!

Baby, it's cold outside!

That was my first thought when I read the headline. Followed quickly by, “huh, slow news day?”

In case you don’t want to read the whole article – super short summary: Home Depot employee wears a “one nation under God, indivisible” pin on his apron. He’s been wearing it for over a year. He starts toting a Bible to work to read on his lunch break. Home Depot says: Hey, you can’t wear that pin, we only allow company approved pins. Here’s a “united we stand” pin to wear instead. Man refuses and is fired.

And of course, Trevor Keezer, the guy in question, is turning it into a freedom of speech and religion platform.

First off – Home Depot, or any business for that matter, has every right to tell employees what they can and cannot wear when in uniform. The concept of a dress code is not an alien language is it? With several friends who are or were Home Depot employees, I know their dress code is pretty well spelled out and very straight forward. I don’t know too many companies who happily allow their employees to sport buttons, shirts or whatevers that indicate any form of religious or political association – never mind how patriotic it may be.

Second – sure, it’s a direct quote from the Pledge of Allegiance. I seem to recall the “under God” part was an add on not originally in the Pledge. In fact, the darn thing has gone through at least four revisions and there have been recurrent arguments about whether or not to continue using the “under God” part. However, because it focuses not on patriotism alone, but on the uniting force of deity, I can see Home Depot’s side here.

Third – the claim that this is his way of showing support for our troops smacks of BS. If that were the case, what would be wrong with accepting the alternate “united we stand” pin? Something with far fewer inflammatory risks.

I’m not saying Home Depot was in the right here. My issues on that front are simple: why didn’t the pin get addressed immediately? If it had, there would be no case here.

Imagine the scene: Employee wears the pin on Day 1. Manager looks at it, says, “Sorry, it’s not a company approved pin. It has to go.” Employee balks. Employee is fired for not conforming to uniform policy. Former employee attempts to sue, and attorney laughs: Hey, it’s their dress code. They enforced it.

End of story.

Unfortunately, the company did not enforce their dress code immediately and allowed the pin to go unquestioned for a significant period of time.

The change seemed to happen when Mr. Keezer started bringing a Bible to work. The claim there is that he brought it to read while on his lunch break.

OK, so… the claim is essentially that Home Depot is using the pin as an excuse for religious persecution?

Unfortunately, because of the lack of prior enforcement of dress code, that is the way it appears.

I find it highly unlikely, however, that the seemingly innocent act of merely bringing a Bible for personal reading enjoyment during unpaid lunch breaks was the real cause.

So, was Mr. Keezer standing in the aisles preaching? I can’t imagine that was the case.

Was he proselytizing to fellow employees? Supposedly not, however, I’m afraid most devout, evangelical Christians have a rather narrow view of proselytizing. I’d be willing to bet that he was, in fact, “sharing his faith” with fellow employees – whether gently, or with a bludgeon doesn’t really matter.

Was he taking his personal lunch hour to lead a Bible study? No problem – so long as it’s not on company grounds, so long as it doesn’t interfere with company business, so long as it’s not done in any way shape or form to appear as a company-sanctioned effort.

My guess is that Mr. Keezer’s act of bringing the Bible in to work coincided with an increased visibility of his public profession of faith – an profession that perhaps irritated a non-Christian coworker, or worse, a customer.

And there, really, is the bottom line.

It’s not as if Home Depot is a Christian business. It’s not like the only customers they have are Christians.

And no corporate giant wants to risk offending or alienating any of their customers over the personal, religious, or political beliefs of one of their low-level employees.

While a pin reading “One nation under God, indivisible” is not the same as wearing a cross, Star of David, or whatever, it is a clear statement of religious and political belief, one that has been a rallying cry of an increasingly political Christian movement.

In my mind, if Mr. Keezer’s genuine intent was to show support for our troops, he would have happily accepted the alternate “united we stand” pin and gone on his merry way. By holding to the non-approved “one nation under God, indivisible” pin, he willingly created the situation leading to his termination.

He made a choice, one that is not based on a requirement of his faith. And he is claiming religious persecution because of it.

Home Depot, unfortunately, made a mistake. They didn’t jump on the issue when it first happened and now they are faced with the appearance of religious persecution.

So, yeah… You’ve got to be kidding, right?

But I’m not in So Cal anymore… I’m in Maryland…

Imagine my surprise when a certain child in my life spied the, to me, harmless looking brown beetle creeping along the window sill, squawked at the top of his lungs, “STINK BUG” and promptly fled the room, his hands covering his nose and mouth.

My reaction to said bug was to grab a paper towel and disinvite it from my home. I tend to believe that uninvited critters of the insect and arachnid varieties are defacto signing their own death warrants by entering my domicile.

Said bug did, in fact, smell unpleasant, but certainly not enough to warrant the violent reaction I had just witnessed. Amused, I wondered what that kid would do if ever confronted with what I call a Stink Bug.

I chalked it up to childish histrionics and went about my business.

Over the next few weeks, more and more of those critters kept showing up. And they are remarkably adept at squeezing through the tightest spaces. Beautiful weather has meant my doors and windows are open. It’s not uncommon for me to find a half dozen or so of them clinging to the screen. Nor is it uncommon to find that an industrious one or two has managed to get beyond the screen.

After finding my screen door quite covered in the ugly little buggers, I broke down and looked them up. Sure enough, they are called “Stink Bugs” – huh. Technically, some Brown Marmorated something or another. And they do stink – though I still maintain that they are no where near as obnoxious as the black Stink Bugs I grew up with. Besides, these things don’t seem to spray their stink…I don’t even notice any smell unless they’re squished.

But when it comes to dispatching unwanted insectoid critters, that’s what vacuum cleaners are for!

Yeah. Seriously.

I have to admit, I’m enjoying the weather; it’s a refreshing change after that period in the heat of The Valley of the Sun. And I also have to admit, being the spoiled rotten, Southern Cal gal that I am, I’m taking advantage of the nice weather and throwing doors and windows wide open to enjoy the fresh air while I can (hey, I’m the one who used  my A/C about one week out of each year, and my heater for about two – the rest of the time, it was fresh air, baby!)

But still… the thermometer says it’s 75 in here – and I’m wearing socks, and a sweater!

Hmm… winter is gonna be fun…

Silly me, I didn’t think that I wasn’t moving to the Northeast Coast, but to Baltimore – which is a city that has more in common with its fellow south-of-the-Mason-Dixon-Line cities than with, say… New York.

Even sillier me, I didn’t think that I was moving not to the city itself, but to a community outside of the city. A community that borders on rural. A community that seems lost in time, where modern-day technologies are not overtly evident.

Witness the small-town pharmacy where the pharmacist wears a white coat that lacks a large, corporate logo on the chest, and he calls you by name because he remembers you. Or for that matter, the fact that large corporate giants are in the community, sure, but they are far outnumbered by smaller, local and regional businesses.

Which means – sometimes, ya just can’t get what you want when you want it.

What this place lacks in urban niceties, it makes up for (more than makes up for) in charm. And I have to admit the slower pace of life is… well… refreshing!

And then I realized I needed to get my hair done.

Oh yipe.

I had a favored stylist for many years. A woman whose chair I could plop myself into and say, with no fear in my voice, “Have fun! Do whatever!” And I knew she would make my hair gorgeous.

A move to a different area meant giving her up, and I never did find a stylist I liked half as much.

In a totally new state now, I’m sorta stymied.

I’m freelancing, so asking fellow coworkers where they got their hair done is out. Most of the ladies I see around these parts are, um… shall we say… not like me. The older generation wears the ubiquitous bubble, and the sportier ones (we are in hunt country, after all) wear some version of a pony tail type do. Among my peers, the Soccer Mom look is alive and well in this community. As is the classic bob. Closer to the city, the look becomes more Political Wife than Trend Setter.

None of those things encourage me to go ask the wearer, “Pardon me, but your hair looks terrific! Where do you go?”

So, I’ve begun the sometimes painful process of locating a suitable hair salon – knowing I need a good cut by a stylist who knows how to handle a mass of super fine, wavy/curly/frizzy hair and who is a whiz with color. (what, you thought that red on my head came naturally? ha!)

So far, I’ve found the typical low-end salons – the places frequented by the  younger crowd, college students, frugal types and those who simply don’t care about their hair cut. Sorry. I haven’t stepped foot in one of those for nearly 10 years, and the last time I did, it was the inspiration for me giving up hair cuts and growing my hair to the stunning, down-to-my-tailbone, all-one-length ‘do. Great hair. Not great on me.

I’ve also found the pricey, high-end salons – the places that make you feel like a pampered princess. While I’m not against paying a premium for their services, I’d kind of like to see some examples of their work. Because so far, I haven’t seen any ladies with incredible, fabulous, worth every penny of that several hundred dollars hair.

In the middle are the salons I’m really searching for – places that offer good service at reasonable (or slightly high) prices. Places where you’ll feel and look like a million without spending a million.

And therein lies my trouble.

I’m a techno kid – I want to see a web site. I want to see services and base prices listed out.

I picked up a copy of the community paper, flipped through to find the salon ads, and started plugging them into my handy-dandy laptop.

Guess what?

If you guessed that not one of them had an active web site, you’d be correct. Mind you, these were sites that were listed in their current ads. But they were still just place holder sites, some were even total junk sites, and one gave back that loverly Yahoo “Oops, we’re sorry” message.

Huh.

Go figure.

So much for that bright idea.

Guess it’s back to the drawing board, and scouring the local shops for ladies who have nice hair. I hope they don’t think I’m weird for staring at every woman sporting shiny, bouncy locks… It’s not that I’m a stalker, it’s just that I’m in search of a stylist!

Yep, that is a squirrel...

So, on moving to this place, I discovered the level of wildlife is a bit higher than I’m used to. No big deal. I’m a farm girl, and a veteran camper, and all that other happy stuff. Bugs and critters and the like don’t really bother me… It’s just that I’m not used to them being quite so close to my personal space.

Like that guy up there.

What the hell?

Did I put out a squirrel feeder? Or even bird seed? Or even some tasty something on the deck? Answer: No!

Is it like the deck is on the ground floor, with access? Again, no. Or that there are trees right up against the deck serving as squirrel expressways? Once again, the answer is no.

The bedroom and office windows have trees, I mean, right. up. against. the. windows. Looking out those windows is akin to watching a squirrel trapeeze act. But the deck isn’t like that.

The little guy sitting on the corner there had to come either up the brick sides of the building or down the rain gutter from the roof. And when he finally spotted me and ran, I realized: he came down the rain gutter.

I’m suddenly very aware of why the cats I’ve seen prowling the grassy area behind this place look so well fed… They’ve got an abundance of on-the-hoof (so to speak) meat, just waiting for the pounce. I’m also suddenly aware that I may have to find some creative way of protecting the herbs and other plants I was planning on growing on that nice deck…

Huh… so, umm… who invited Mr. Squirrel to the party?

And then I moved… To Maryland… To an area that is wet, and green, and has these temperature extremes… Not that I’ve experienced those yet, c’mon, I just moved here! But what I have experienced is the wetness, and the wildlife…

The majority of the windows here overlook a green area – lots of trees. In fact, the bedroom and office windows are smack up against a stand of trees. Sounds gorgeous, right? Well… it is… However, it’s also a pain in the ass.

How so, you ask?

Oh, perhaps that opinion comes about because I had to have the maintenance staff remove a wasp nest from the office window. Or perhaps it has to do with the piles of bug carcasses I vacuumed from the tracks of said windows. Or perhaps it’s the fact that I can look out the windows and see bugs flying – as in, everywhere…

For those of you who grew up with this stuff, you’re now saying, “yeah, so?” Well, let me tell you, for those of us from less, shall we say, moist areas, we are simply not used to that volume of critter. Nor are we used to that size of critter. Some of these darn flying things could be mistaken for small birds!

Oh yeah, there are a lot of birds around, too… But I digress.

Back to the bugs.

Outside my window, there are gorgeous trees. Don’t ask me what kinds, I don’t know. But one has these weird (to me) web things all over it. As do many trees in the area.

Birdie Buffet

That white mass in the middle is some type of caterpillar home (for a larger version – click the pic, go ahead, I’ll wait). I haven’t figured out which type – apparently, there are a few different types of moth-critters whose caterpillars spin these things. Aside from being interesting to look at, and a potential major problem because the hungry caterpillars are going to scarf on all the nice juicy leaves, they have another fun feature…

The local birds think they’re an all you can eat birdie buffet…